Archive for January, 2012

07
Jan
12

Ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble, ramble yeah! (Part 1)

Dear Readers,

OK, so who of you picked the reference to a recent song by LMFAO?

This is one of those occasions where I’m not so sure what to write about but I knew I just had to, well, write and see what came out.

I have been sick over the last few days which I feel has severely affected my judgement (“What! More so than usual? I hear my well wishers shout in unison) I am also a wheelchair basketball player and have a tournament to prepare for in the next few days. These two facts are important in the situation I found myself in today.

Rewind to yesterday. I had arranged to go out with a very dear friend of mine and felt that, due to tournament preparation, this would end up not being possible. I reluctantly texted said friend to deliver the bad news. Overnight, I had an epiphany and realised my preparation today would not be so crucial that I had to miss going out with the friend. In a panic I quickly texted and then called my friend (I thought I was nagging) and while I did not receive a response straight away, it turned out that the opportunity I had so mindlessly thrown away because of my on worries and trying to think and plan ahead, was not in fact gone. I had a wonderful afternoon chilling out.

Why am I so afraid to take chances and why do I spend either too long or not long enough thinking and over thinking on these opportunities? Why does my lack of thought or over thought allow me to either push the opportunity away or spend so long on it that it goes away? Why do I stress so much over what others think to the point that I think I have to deny myself what will make me happy?

Back to this afternoon….A wonderful time was had with a deep, honest, intelligent and wonderful friend. Someone I am so, so lucky to have in my life and though I met this person in a different setting and quickly convinced myself it would never work, it turns out (2+ years after meeting them) this is someone whose influnce I am a better person for having had in my life.

This was an opportunity I was presented with and though I dropped it quickly, I was able to pick it back up and see it through. All my life I have been facing those questions and missing opportunities. All my life I have been trying to plan ahead and not face what is and can happen RIGHT NOW.

I have 2 sisters. One is a young adult and one is a teenager. I love them both to bits and dont know what my life would be like without them. I am constantly amazed and astounded by my teen sisters maturity and wisdom. Recently I had a deep and meaningful  with her and she left me with one phrase that impacted and challenged me: “Live in the moment”……..WOW! I cannot begin to tell you what a moving experience it was for me to be taking such powerful, useful advice from someone who should more obsessed with boys and school work rather than humility and living in the moment (For the record, the conversation started regarding the concept of humility. I’m still astounded that someone so young would even know what humility is let alone have a grasp of the concept that people 3 times her age do not have).

OK dear sister, I accept your challenge. I want 2012 to be the year where I dont give the opportunities I get so little thought that I miss an obvious flaw but so much thought that by the time I get around to doing something about it, the opportunity is gone. I want 2012 to be the year where I start to think about myself and not give up an opportunity just because I dont want to upset soeone, nag them or worry about what they think. Of course their happiness and what they want and think is so important but I want 2012 to be the year where other peoples thoughts and feelings and worrying about what they might think, doesnt come at the expense of my happiness too.

My companion this afternoon put it beautifully (again) when they said one phrase “Joe-you’re too nice”.

2012 is the year when I remember something I’ve been taught all my life: “Love others as you love yourself”. 2012 is the year where I dont just buy everyone else dinner when we go out. I’ll be treating myself too.

Well this post is long enough. I do hope it makes some sense and isnt too much of a ramble…..oops, there I go again……

Thats a wrap!

🙂




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